What Causes Conflict Between Adolescents and Their Parents

Introduction Conflicts in the family are usually considered as an undesirable symptom of a problem that need to be solved by family members. 1 In the family relationships, the parent-adolescent relationship represents an involuntary association, an imbalance of power and resources, and an obligation for the parent to function as caregiver. 2 While the presenting problem with most families is obviously parent-adolescent conflict. Adolescence is a period of increasing parent-child conflict and conflicts are thought to be rife and common during this development phase. In the puberty, Parents have the totally different interpretations of the conflicts against adolescents. Parents notice the disagreements caused from morality, personal safety and conformity concerns while adolescents consider them as personal choice. 4 This piece of work deals with the question what causes conflict adolescents and their parents. In the first part various issues causing the conflicts in families are introduced. Building upon this, the next chapter concentrates on the analysing the reasons.
And a final conclusion of the piece of work is given in the third part. 1. Cf. Samuel Vuchinich (1999) : p. 79 2. Daniel J. Canary,William R. Cupach,Susan J. Messman (1995) : p. 52 3. Cf. Lynn H. Turner,Richard L. West (2006) : quoted according to Riesch, Jackson, & Chanchong, (2003) : p. 150. 4. Cf. Lynn H. Turner,Richard L. West (2006) : quoted according to Smetana (1989) : p. 150. 2 Occurrence and Issues of Conflict Owing to that family members share the communal resources and so much time, conflicts are normative and inevitable. As the expressive form, usually family conflicts between parents and adolescents will behaved in a variety of ways like whining, complaining, yelling, crying to arguing, screaming and swearing, which ranged from giving up halfway during the chores to quarrelling and even fighting. 6 Those activities are undesirable in family harmony, everyone wants to live in a warm and so what should be done is to search for the reasons and then analyse them. The disagreements and conflicts between parents and teenagers can be numerous and diverse.
Difficulties associated with marital conflict or personal problem of individual family members lead to variable conflicts. 7 Ten main content categories which lead to conflicts were concluded and defined in Table 1 and the percent frequency of each part is given by Table 2. 8 (Tables are given in the Appendix) From these tables one can easily get the conclusion that doing chores, interpersonal relations, regulating activities and personality characteristics lead to conflicts the most frequently, accounting for 18%, 17%, 12% and 12% respectively.

In addition, another research indicated that conflicts about chores and interpersonal relationships were more difficult to resolve than those about personal style. 9 5. Cf. Chris Segrin,Jeanne Flora (2005): quoted according to Sillarset al (2004) :p. 88 6. Cf. Russell A. Barkley, Christine M. Benton (1998) :p. 10. 7 Cf. Arthur L. Robin,Sharon L. Foster (2003) : p. 227 8. Megan R. Gunnar,W. Andrew Collins(1988) :p. 95. 9. Cf. Lynn H. Turner,Richard L. West (2006) : quoted according to Smetana, Yau, & Hanson, (1991) : p. 151 On the other hand, parents pay much more attention to adolescents` behavioral style, whereas the adolescents considered the restrictions on their interpersonal relationship as the chief issue leading to the conflicts. 10 Analysis the Reason The different values between parents and adolescents actually exist regarding to the tiny issues as discussed above and the differences always cause the disagreements. 11 During the adolescence, many adolescents refuse to accept the values and standpoints emerged by their parents.
Disagreements related to different values finally develop into intense conflicts when both the two sides can not tolerate the other`s behaviour any more. 12 Recently, more attempts have been tried to explain the parent-adolescent conflict. The theory of transformation of family patterns of interaction is emphasized. 13 The theory illustrates that several years have been costed for parents and their children to establish an acceptable pattern of interaction, however, during the puberty of period, both the parent-adolescent relationships change because parties` evelopment, not just one side14. The adolescents are bound to get changes in both psychological and physical aspects. To be more specific, they begin to 10. Cf. Megan R. Gunnar,W. Andrew Collins (1988) :p. 94. 11. Cf. Patricia Noller,Victor J. Callan (1991) :p. 49 12. Cf. Clarence J. Mann,Klaus Gotz (2006) :p. 110 13 Raymond Montemayor (1983):quoted according to Morton, Alexander, & Altman (1976) :p. 84 14 Cf. Daniel J. Canary,William R. Cupach,Susan J. Messman (1995) quoted according to Smetana 4 (1988) : p. 60 demand increasingly independence and less restriction.
On the same time, they cultivate new cognitions and expectations as getting more contact to the society. 15 For the alteration mentioned, the former balance is certainly to be broken. Then the whole family members are going to endeavor to learn from their experiences in their patterns of communication , made a decision if they should adopt or change the family models and form an adjustment of the family system in order to achieve new equilibrium. 16 During this deconstruction and reconstruction 17 procedure poor communication easily brings on conflicts. 15 Cf. Daniel J. Canary, William R. Cupach, Susan J.
Messman (1995): p. 59 16 Cf. Peter M. Kellett,Diana (2001) : p. 152 17 Cf. Raymond Montemayor (1983):quoted according to Boszormenyi-Nagy (1973) :p. 84 5 Conclusion The family are, for most of the adolescents, the communicative context in which they learn how conflict should and should not be done. The conflict permeate everyday communication in family experiences become powerful guideposts for how one can avoid and solve conflicts throughout one`s daily life. Some of the common reasons cited for parent-adolescent conflict are chores, interpersonal relations, regulating activities and personality characteristics.
A lack of understanding and empathy between parents and adolescents is likely to disrupt family harmony and lead to conflict. It is easy to conclude that early adolescence is more stressful than late adolescence because parents are establishing new guidelines and parameters regarding to acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Conflicts will not abate until the pubertal maturation and change of relationship are complete, typically by late adolescence. The final result is the eternal change in the relationship that the adolescents are permitted to take participation in family communication as an adult. 18 18 Cf. Anita L. Vangelisti (2004) :p. 35 6 Bibliography Samuel Vuchinich (1999) : Problem solving in families: research and practice Daniel J. Canary, William R. Cupach, Susan J. Messman (1995): Relationship conflict Lynn H. Turner,Richard L. West (2006) : The family communication sourcebook Chris Segrin,Jeanne Flora (2005) : Family communication Russell A. Barkley, Christine M. Benton (1998) : Your defiant child: 8 steps to better behavior Arthur L. Robin, Sharon L. Foster (2003) : Negotiating Parent-Adolescent Conflict: A Behavioral-Family Systems Approach Megan R. Gunnar,W. Andrew Collins(1988): Development during the transition to adolescence Patricia Noller,Victor J.
Callan (1991) : The adolescent in the family Clarence J. Mann,Klaus Gotz (2006) : Borderless business: managing the far-flung enterprise Raymond Montemayor (1983): Parents and Adolescents in Conflict: All Families Some of the Time and Some Families Most of the Time Peter M. Kellett,Diana G. Dalton : Managing conflict in a negotiated world Anita L. Vangelisti (2004) : Handbook of family communication 7 Appendix Table1 :Definition of ten main content categories leading to conflicts Table2 :percent frequency of ten main content categories leading to conflicts Table 1 8 Table two 9