How to Make a Turkey Sandwich

Anyone can make a turkey sandwich and, truth be told, anyone could make The Best Turkey Sandwich Ever. Really, the only thing standing in anyone’s way is that they probably don’t yet know how. This is where this guide comes in. I will try to provide thorough instructions for making The Best Turkey Sandwich Ever.
I discovered The Best Turkey Sandwich Ever by accident one night while living in New York City. For you see, I was unemployed at the time and didn’t have too much money to throw around on food. As fate would have it, on that night, much like on a myriad of countless other nights that had preceded it (and subsequently on many nights thereafter), I happened to be very hungry. In a sad, strung-out, state of desperation, I languidly scavenged my apartment for something to hold me over until breakfast. I found some deli meat, cheese and half a loaf of unwanted challah bread that my sister gave to me last time I bothered to go uptown to visit her. Confronted with such limited supplies, the solution seemed rather obvious; cobble these culinary elements together and make a sandwich. Although, looking back upon it, I can only attribute this particular chance arrangement of sandwich materials to the benevolent hand of some archaic pantheon of gods; perhaps viking. I like vikings.
Anyhow, I crafted the sandwich to my preference and took a bite. By some happy accident of the cosmos, I, in my pathetic desperation not to scrounge together some pocket change and walk a block and a half for a slice of sicilian pizza, had chanced upon The Best Turkey Sandwich Ever.

I’ve kept this to myself for too long. For the greater good of humanity, I am going to share my process with you today. If you follow these directions carefully, you too can live the rich prosperous life that can only come with The Best Turkey Sandwich Ever.