Amy Chua, a ‘tiger mom’, shared her Chinese parenting style with the public through publishing book and writing article. Her harsh and rigid parenting style raised lots of discussion and concern around the public. They all raise a question- this parenting style can help children to succeed in the future? I think it may not be that easy to raise a child with harsh parenting style. To a large extent, I disagree the harsh parenting style equal a better future of the child. First we have to define what ‘tiger mom’ is.
It is a Chinese parenting style that harshly and toughly pushes their children to meet their target or expectation, usually in the aspect of academic. In my opinion, better future includes better physical and mental health, wealth. According to a research which is done by Desiree Baolian Qin, a professor in the department of human development and family studies at Michigan State University, Chinese-American kids were more disadvantageous concerning levels of anxiety and depression and the amount of conflict in their families when comparing European-American kids.
The parents do not care what their children’s feeling and perception is. The parents use their authority to push their children. There is a high possibility of conflict between different expectation from parents and children. As sometimes parents have high expectation to children, this put large amount of pressure on children. So, it triggers a certain level of anxiety of children. These combination make children become low self- esteem. Although they will become a profession in the future, they have a bad relationship and a negative impression on parents.
Also, tough parenting style will affect children’s communication skill that largely relate to better future. Like popular tiger parent Amy Chua, she does not allow her daughter to stay at school to play with friends after school. A key concept of schooling is developing students’ social and communication skills. Parents do not let their children to go out but follow their tied schedule. The children will become not sociable. In workplace, there are not just apply professional skills but also communication and social skills that help people to promote to upper managerial level and work ffectively. Therefore, tiger mom is not equal to a better future. However, a coin has two sides, although Chinese parenting style is very mean, it has certain advantages on children’s future. Focusing on effort but not inherent ability is a feature or advantage of Chinese parenting style. Also, it is the key of distinguishing American and Chinese parenting style. Amy Chua doesn’t let her kids believe they can’t succeed. The style nurtures the children with inculcating the concept of working hard. It pushes children to limit to attain the goal which is set by their parents.
This let the children realize that they can make it when working hard. It gradually develops their self confidence and determination to attain a goal. It is well prepared for future to work with colleagues. He or she will become a hard working and determined person in workplace. These are crucial feature of high position in management level. So, a tiger mom equals a better future in this way. Moreover, although parents giving lots of pressure on children will make the relationship tight, it trains children AQ when living and working under pressure.
Adversity Quotient (AQ) is the ability of a person to deal with problems. Chinese parenting style harshly push children to achieve certain goals which is not easy to attain. In this time, children have to think of some ways to cope with the problems to satisfy their parents’ desire. As a result, the skills of problem solving are significant in workplace and also live independently. However, this style will largely effect children emotion when there is high possibility that conflict between children and parents.
Even some kids have been diagnosed of mood disorder. This largely affects the relationship between parents and children and causes apparently mentally unhealthy. So, this is a better future for a child. In conclusion, I admit Chinese parenting style improves children ability of problems solving and develops their determination mind that give them a better future and achievement. However, the parenting style is tremendously rigid to a kid that easily harms their esteem and destroys family relationship.
It will give a negative memory in their mind, even get an unrecoverable wound in their heart. Even though their future is bright and recognized, they have negative feeling and history in their mind that I am not notice as ‘better future’. Thus, I disagree a tiger mom equals a better future in a small extent. Reference list: http://www. livescience. com/18023-tiger-parenting-tough-kids. html http://www. raisesmartkid. com/all-ages/1-articles/47-authoritarian-strict-parenting-vs-permissive-which-is-better
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