Essay on Marriage and Family
“Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear.” — William Congreve
For as long as I can remember, my purpose has been to get married and raise a family with someone I love. One of my biggest fears is never getting married or accomplishing some of my life goals. When I was younger getting married used to be just something that all people did, almost like a checklist. I would hear people say ” I can not wait till I get married” or ” When you get married…”
The older I get I see that it is not as pure and ideal as I thought. I have watched people, close to me, get married and, ironically, I know even more people who have gotten a divorce. Marriages have been torn apart because of infidelity, abuse, and/or lack of communication. Through the course of my existence, I have been conditioned to believe that romance and relationships are like books and movies, but as I got older I realized that it is not like that in actual life.
When i was in the fifth grade i watched my 3 best friends parents all get divorced. It was horrible. one of them had to stay with me for almost 2 months because of the situation at home. Ever since then I have been afraid my marriage would not work out or i just would never get married. Seeing the effect divorce had on my friends and their family made my heart hurt. i felt so bad for them. One thing i knew for sure is i did not want it to happen to me.
Marriage is a very challenging factor, but you have to select the proper person, and be aware of that you choose to spend the rest of your life with them. It terrifies me that a lot of them end in divorces, and that it can break your whole family apart. I wanted desperately to be loved unconditionally by someone, but I on occasion experience like I am not good enough, which causes me to push people away.
The thought of marriage is coveted by most people, but legally a marriage is simply a piece of paper binding two humans together by the law. I believe, however, that the fear of marriage, not finding anyone, and the concern of living an unfulfilled existence is without a doubt what is stopping people from accomplishing it. When you are living your life to the fullest and not relying on anyone for your happiness, you automatically entice good people and situations.
If you let go of the worry of now not finding someone, and you stop placing your value outside of yourself, you will no longer experience the need to find any one to love you.You will already love and value your self in every way. You will simply attract someone who provides greater love into your life. You will find someone to fill it with more joy, laughter and super experiences.
Every day I attempt to live my life to the fullest and attempt to be positive and joyful all the time. It is a great deal harder than you think. You in no way know what is going to happen tomorrow, so I attempt to live in the moment through not taking time for granted. I appreciate the small things whilst striving to be the best person I can be. Even if the day is bad, I have learned no longer to stress the negatives, and focus on the right things.
If I go through life questioning that I will never get married or attain any of my goals, they will turn out to be a lot harder. I have now realized that I cant have any expectations when it comes to marriage, however I need to strive to make the best of my life. I should not be concerned about these conditions or decisions now, as I am still young and believe that the proper person will come into my life. Being scared of marriage is not necessary right now and I believe I will be fine in discovering the right person to get married to.
